Dreams

I realized sometime last year that I had no dreams. Like the, “What would you do if money/time was no option,” dreams. If anyone asked what I liked to do, I couldn’t even answer. I didn’t really know anymore, outside of being a wife and mom.

So over the last year I have been using any spare moment to try out the things I used to enjoy. Seeing if they fit into my life as it is now.

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I can still close my eyes and feel myself riding my horse through a shady, wooded trail. The creaking of the saddle and the sweaty smell of a horse that only a rider would truly appreciate. Those are things that will always be a part of me, but are not truly passions of mine anymore and that is ok. I have great memories of riding with my mom and it is how I met Bryan, so I will always love horses, but am at peace with my lack of riding.

We try every year for a big garden, even though we say we won’t, but I’m not even truly good at gardening. Many of our plants make it because Bryan cares for them and plants them at the correct spacing and depth. I’m more of a sprinkle the seed pack around and hope for the best kind of girl, haha!

I really needed time to create and be myself for a bit. Just me, which is hard when you are at home with your kids so much. I used to have a passion for art. I took classes all through high school, but college and babies have taken my time since. I’ve tried working art into my days, but it’s more for my kids’ benefit because they will need 15,000 new pieces of paper and spill their entire jar of painty water all over the place before I even sit down.

So somehow I started using my camera more. I started out just wanting good pictures of my kids. And I have SO many ridiculously posed pictures of Maurice as a baby to prove it.

But I found it was a fast and less messy way to show my view of the world. And let’s face it, I could never paint anywhere like a sunset from our Creator. So I just decided I would capture His masterpieces. And is has soothed my soul. It has also frustrated me to no end when the vision I had and the camera replay do not match. But I keep trying, and I keep clicking. And I will never be as talented as what I see some photographers capture, with their amazing equipment and exotic locations, but it is a satisfying tale into the story of me.

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